We all have them. Those things that happen around us, to us or inside of us 
that set us off. We may yell, kick, scream… or for many of us who battle an eating disorder, we may turn to or away from food.
How we respond to our triggers is certainly of high importance, but recognizing those triggers is top priority. Your triggers may or may not be blatantly obvious; however, it’s imperative to be aware of them.
Before I go any further, let me tell you something I have learned during my treatment from my ED. We may not always be able to control our triggers, but we can ALWAYS control how we respond to those triggers. In other words, we can’t expect everyone to tiptoe around us because they know that if they move the wrong way, we will go off or be thrust deeper into the disorder out of which we are trying to climb. We CAN expect ourselves to know what bothers us and to change the unhealthy ways in which we are responding.
Working with adolescents, I have learned that triggers are very important aspects of an individual’s mental health. Because some young people have not yet mastered the appropriate responses to their triggers, we as counselor trainees must be alert to our own actions and the actions of others in order to prevent harming the client.
Working with adolescents has also helped me become more aware of my own triggers. Not fun, but necessary. I used to think some of these things were just pet peeves and now I can see that they are real, anxiety-producing triggers that I need to learn to handle in a healthier manner.
It’s not easy to admit, but here are a few of the triggers I have to which I am working hard to respond more effectively:
1. Loud noises. This includes music, vehicles, the vacuum, etc. and is probably my biggest trigger. It’s not just a nails on the chalkboard-type annoyance, it’s one that I previously responded to with irritation and unhealthy thoughts/behaviors.
2. Having people inside of my “bubble.” I’m one who needs more than three feet of personal space when around others. I’m working now to shrink my bubble so it is closer to three feet, but I don’t feel like I need to completely compromise my right to have a larger-than-normal bubble. Regardless, if I want to maintain a good relationship with those I love, I need to be willing to respond differently when someone attempts to hug me.
3. Last minute changes to plans. Working as a news reporter for the past four years, I’ve been forced to change plans on a whim. We must be ready when the news happens and even when we are wearing a skirt and heels, it’s raining or there is five inches of snow on the ground, we head out to wherever we’re needed. This experience has helped me to be more flexible and spontaneous, but I still have work to do in this area.
So, those are a few of my triggers, but what are your triggers? What is it that causes you anxiety, frustration or anger? What sends you into a spiral of ineffective responses such as over or under eating, exercising too much or too little, fighting, using drugs or alcohol, speeding, etc?
As I said before, we may not always be able to control the triggers, but we can ALWAYS control how we respond.
Until next time…
Funny. I had to go through an anger management course almost 15 years ago and they said basically the same things. I was in there because I was having problems sleeping and everyone else in the class was there for criminal issues. So I think I was the only one in the class who actually paid attention and took anything away from it, but it really has served me well, realizing how I can control my own response. Word of suggestion if you haven’t figured it out already? Don’t tell someone you’re arguing with that you’re not making them mad, that they’re making themselves mad by the way they are interpreting what you’re saying or reacting to it.
Sean, it was a hard thing for me to realize that I had control over my responses. I always expected that the way I behaved was because of someone else. The light bulb went off and when it did, it changed my life completely. Now I know that I don’t make others feel a certain way and they don’t make me feel a certain way. They also don’t make me engage in unhealthy behaviors, I do that to myself. We all do. I agree with the advice on not telling someone you’re arguing with that they are making themselves mad; however, this can be a great way to set a boundary and get a point across. Thanks for reading!!!
Hi Meredith,
Your article has made me think about some of my triggers as well. I think my #1 trigger is my lack of patience when I’m driving. I’m always getting mad at other drivers. Whether they’re driving too slow, too fast, taking too long to make their turn, not using their turn signals, not letting me merge, etc. I believe that people are just so rude when they are driving because you’re just another car to them, not a human being, like it’s open season to for people to be rude to you because they can get away with it since they don’t have to face you. I don’t know why I’ve become so impatient with the little things that don’t really matter. Maybe that’s the key- they don’t really matter so why do I get so frustrated? I’m not sure but after reading your article, I’m going to spend some time thinking about this and what I can do to not let myself get so easily annoyed behind the wheel. I think when it comes down to it, my trigger is with people who have no consideration for others.
Great article! Thanks for sharing!
Joy
Oh that’s a big one for me as well. But you’re right in that getting easily annoyed by other drivers can be very ineffective and pointless. Why? Because we cannot control what they do behind the wheel. It’s the same as many other things that annoy us or set us off… Unless we get out of our cars, stop the crazy drivers, pull them out of the car and then drive their car for them (and would obviously not be driving ours) there is little we can do about it. It’s frustrating none the less. I repeat “Be still and know that I am God…” when I’m feeling that way behind the wheel and then remind myself that driving is the No. 1 thing God uses to teach me patience. Best to you. MC
[...] the beginning of the summer I read this blog post about triggers, and even commented on it, but I didn’t do that much self examination to identify my own. I [...]