Last week I started reading “The 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition” by Gary Chapman and I must say I’ve learned a lot. In fact, I had a sort of “Ah-ha” moment as soon as I read the description on the back of the book. It seemed to make so much sense.
I’ve struggled many times when others, primarily my mom, ask me for a hug because to me, hugging doesn’t give me that loving feeling. It’s rarely been as important to me as to my mom. I would prefer doing something for her instead or having her do something for me. Prior to reading Chapman’s thoughts on the languages of love, I had assumed I just simply wasn’t an affectionate person. I never wanted hugs and kisses, but knew my mom loved me when she cleaned my room or left a note on my dresser. Yet mom wanted hugs nearly every time I was in the room with her.
Chapman explains that there are different ways individuals feel loved. For my mom, physical touch seems to be her primary love language and for me, it’s acts of service and/or words of affirmation. He says once we understand the way others feel loved, we can then begin to speak their love language.
Some may be skeptical, but if you think about it I’m sure you will see that there are certain ways you too feel more loved. Pick up a copy of “The 5 Love Languages” and discover for yourself what Chapman is talking about. I got my copy from Amazon for just $1.68 and you probably have that much in pennies at the bottom of your change jar. The book is an easy read and can benefit us no matter what type of relationships we have. The singles edition speaks about significant others, coworkers, parents, children, etc. I hear the other editions are just as great.
Relationships aside, however, what can we do to love ourselves? I know that I feel loved in many ways, primarily when someone does something for me or tells me I’ve done a great job. Those are the moments I feel warm and fuzzy inside thinking, “They really do care about me.” However, I must care about me enough to do good things for myself and to affirm the things I do well. This will build up a self-love that for many of us is so desperately needed. After all, in order to love others we must first love ourselves.
What can you do today to love who you are, where you’re from or the life you’re living? Buy yourself something small, tell yourself you’ve done a great job, give yourself a hug… whatever may help you feel loved by you.
Just something to think about…
This Side of the Creek 
It’s really ironic that you shared this today because just last night I took the online love languages quiz, as did Justin. I think this concept is really powerful. I plan on picking up one of the books soon!
This really got me thinking about how we communicate our love and it doesn’t need to be by doing things for others. I am not a very demonstrative person either. I’m still working on loving myself–that is the key.