This Side of the Creek

Among all of life’s uncertainties, there are few certainties. One such certainty is that if we want things to be different, we must be willing to change. You may recall the definition of insanity… “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” It’s a pretty accurate definition and when we stay on the path leading to nowhere, we can drive ourselves crazy.

The question is… Where does change begin? It can be daunting to think about all of the things we feel need to change in our lives, but in thinking of ALL of them, we become overwhelmed and may continue on that same path. To put it into perspective let me give you an example I’m sure most of us at one time or another have been able to relate to: You get up in the morning, head out the door into mad traffic to get to your job downtown. You find yourself anxious and beeping before you even pull into the parking garage. Then, it’s time to go into your office, sit in your cubicle and open your email to find that corporate has changed policies… Again. You go about your day with the looming question of how you can keep up another day doing a job you like, but don’t plan to remain in forever. In fact, you secretly wish to work as something completely different and in an office closer to home. You watch the clock and finally it’s 5 p.m. You head out the door, back into traffic and eventually make it home where you’re dreading having to get up in the morning for another day at the office and you completely miss out on the experiences of being at home. Worry takes over and you’re keyed up, taking it out on everyone around you when in reality you just need a change.

Sound even somewhat familiar? You may not have that exact experience, but you may still be able to relate. Changing our lives is certainly not easy and what’s more, how do we know where to begin? How do we determine what will get us closer to what we want? How do we determine if it’s we who need to change or it’s our circumstances?

Change in any form is difficult. I’ve touched on this in past posts, but it warrants another mention. Allow me to self disclose for a moment. I have low self-esteem. Surprised? Probably not. I tend to beat myself up so much at times that no matter what accolades others could give, I can’t see what they see. I take on people’s problems as if I was the one who caused them. I laugh at the wrong times. I talk too much at times and I tend to assume no one at all likes me. If people do say they like me, I tell myself that they’re just saying that because it’s impossible for anyone to like me. Sad, isn’t it? As a result of this irrational thinking, I have told myself more times than I can count that I need to be different or that I need to apologize for everything I’ve ever done and pray that I wake up different the next day.

What I have been trying to do, however, is accept those parts of myself that will be the way they are regardless of what happens and identify parts that could use some real work. I realized only more recently that I was trying to change way too much at one time. I was spending so much effort complaining about the way things were and the way I was that I missed some very important things in my life. I missed many opportunities to just live life. Change is inevitable, but I was overly focused on where my change would begin or how it would begin that I never actually changed. It was the same story over and over.

I encourage you to consider whether you’re trying to change too much in your life or if you are able to make small changes that will lead you onto a new path where you’re feeling happier, healthier and more able to enjoy the life that has been given to you. Once you identify the change, determine where you will begin and don’t sit on it. Take action and you will be amazed what can happen.

Until next time…