This Side of the Creek

when I took my first step. And I’m clinging to the promise, He’s not through with me yet.”

Christian artist Ginny Owens sings the above lyrics in her song “If You Want Me To,” and it is a song that reminds me of just how far I have come in my personal journey.

I was reflecting on some things this evening – including my own successes over the past year – and I said to myself “I never want to go back to where I was before. I was miserable and now I have hope.” I wonder how many of us are able to see when we have made strides and how many of us long to go back to the person we used to be even when we know we weren’t happy then.

In my entire life, I have never been more grateful than I am as an almost 29 year old. I could rehash my life for you, but I’ll save that for my memoir. I will say, however, that what I experienced in the past wasn’t always pleasant and was at times nothing less than chaotic. I was unhealthy, unhappy and unwilling. I was waiting for someone to come in and rescue me or for someone to change me because I believed I couldn’t change myself.

The good thing is that I did change myself. I am changing myself. I wake up every morning and face challenges, as we all do, but I’m more capable now of managing those challenges and working through my concerns or problems utilizing the skills I’ve learned over time. I never, ever, ever thought my life would change. I had resorted myself to the fact that I would be the way I was forever, which included being a single woman who would eventually end up with a dozen cats living in a small house that no one ever visited. I thought I was destined to be only what I was becoming by following an unhealthy lifestyle.

Then it hit me that I had a choice to make. If I wanted to end up alone and miserable with no goals achieved, I could. Or, I could take my dreams and make them a reality. I chose the latter and although it’s been tough, I do not look back. I do not regret.

I’m not who I was when I took my first step.