Posts Tagged ‘anxiety’

So what does downsizing your wardrobe have to do with mental health? A lot actually. For some, shopping for new clothes can be an attempt to satisfy a part of their lives that feels unsettled or having a closet full of variety can calm anxiety about not having the right thing for the right event. For others, clothing has an appropriate place in their lives and their closets are not crammed with unnecessary items.

The reality is that often the needs we have cannot be fulfilled with a closet full of clothes. While it makes sense to have some variety in your closet, having an excess of clothing (or other belongings) could signify a deeper issue, most notably an anxiety disorder.

When I was in my early 20s my house was on the UPS delivery guy’s daily schedule. I had fallen prey to the credit card trap and found myself ordering from any and all catalogs that came in the mail. There was something about looking through these catalogs, writing down everything I wanted, narrowing it down (or sometimes not), and placing an order that fulfilled my young life in a way nothing else could at the time. I suppose you could say I had a “problem” with buying too much and it took years for me to find a workable solution.

In my late 20s I moved out of my mom’s house and into my own apartment. By this point I had stopped ordering clothing via catalogs, though I did still frequent the local department store on nights when I was bored. A few years later I got married and moved in with my husband and it was then that I counted just how many pair of jeans I’d accumulated. Let’s just say I could have gone nearly a month without ever needing to repeat. And even though I’d gotten rid of many clothes over the years, I still had too much. I began to place clothes in trash bags, filling four total, and either threw them out or gave them away.

My love for, or perhaps obsession with, clothing didn’t necessarily stop there. It was around then that I realized I was buying clothes for reasons beyond necessity and I’d spent many days and much money that didn’t need to be spent trying to satisfy something I still don’t fully understand. For me, clothing provided a sense of comfort and calm when other areas of my life felt out of control. I loved being able to mix and match items and create a new outfit, but I would find myself spending hours, and I mean hours, sifting through my closet to see what I could put together. By the time I was 30 I recognized that what I said was just “a love for fashion,” was actually a manifestation of my anxiety about various aspects of life.

The difference now is that I know this about myself and I work through it in healthy, less costly ways. And being married, I’m learning more about how to manage finances, a household, relationships, etc. I have other things on which to focus my attention despite still owning more clothes than I truly need. In the past three years, however, I’ve worked to reduce the closet clutter and organize my wardrobe and my life.

But how?

Well, it has taken a lot of reading and a whole lot of talking differently to myself about needs versus wants. The feeling of freedom that has come throughout the process is very welcome and I encourage you to find your own freedom from the clothing trap.

Step 1: Assess

Before you even look in your closet or dresser, or both, consider what you do most days. Are you a stay-at-home mom who rarely goes to social events? Are you a career woman who is required to dress up 5 days per week with church on Sundays taking that total to 6 days? Are you someone who wears whatever you prefer or wears a uniform? Do you do a lot of yard work, painting, or other dirty jobs?

Once you consider what you’re doing with your time, you can determine your basic clothing needs. This will include the types of pants, tops, and shoes you need on a regular basis, as well as a few extras for odds and ends projects or outings.

Step 2: Organize

After you have an idea of your basic clothing needs, it’s time to take inventory and organize. Pull out everything you haven’t worn in a year and put it in a “donation” pile. With what’s left, determine what you wear most often. Do you have a pair of black dress pants you wear 1-2 times per week? Do you wear the same pair of shoes with most outfits? If so, lay these items in an “everyday” pile. Any items you wear less than weekly, but more than monthly, can go in an “extras” pile. Create a fourth pile for your “special occasion” attire. This may include clothing worn on dates or to the occasional wedding. Lastly, create an “as needed” pile for clothing items that don’t fit in another pile (casual wear, housework clothes, etc.).

Once you have created these piles, you can now move on to the next step.

Step 3: Eliminate

It’s time to go through the items in each pile and determine what you love, like, dislike, hate. If you dislike or hate an item, put it in the “donation” pile. If you are unsure if you like it, you probably don’t so into the “donation” pile it goes. This will leave you with only items you like or love.

Through all of my reading, I’ve also learned two additional ways to go about the elimination process. One is to ask yourself “If I was shopping today, would I buy this?” If not, it’s time to toss, donate, or give away.

The second way is to turn hangers around or backwards in your closet and after wearing and washing each piece, place them back in the closet with the hanger facing the right way. If after a year you have several hangers that are still facing backwards, eliminate those items from your wardrobe.

Step 4: Simplify

The final step is to once again look through the items in each pile and, considering what you determined your needs to be in step one, shrink these piles to 7-10 everyday outfits, 3-5 as needed outfits, 2-3 special occasion outfits, and 2-4 extras. Hang these items back in your closet or fold them and put them back into your dresser. Anything that remains should be considered for donation.

Be honest with yourself as you go through this process. If you think you are hanging onto an item because you might need it someday, chances are you won’t! Trust me on this! I was the queen of holding onto clothes that I would never wear, some still with tags. Second guessing yourself will likely cause you to hang everything back up! If you notice yourself becoming overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths and walk away for 5-10 minutes. Come back and continue the process. For those items that have sentimental value to you, consider placing in a tote and storing for a period of time.

Organize your closet based on your current lifestyle and simplify the process of getting ready. When you have less to choose from, it not only takes less time select what you’ll wear, but you may even notice a reduction in your level of stress each morning. Not to mention that the items you keep will be items you like or love!

*As with other areas of life, if you are experiencing strong emotions or attachments to items in your wardrobe and are finding this process unbearable, it might be helpful to seek out the assistance of a professional. See Psychology Today to find someone in your area.


Read Full Post »

Guest post from Priya Thiele LPC, Integral and Bereavement Counselor in Eugene, Oregon

We live in a very stress filled culture and society and most of us have many responsibilities we have to attend to everyday. From the time we wake up till we lay our heads down for the night our time is spent doing things and keeping ourselves busy with activities.   We become stressed and overwhelmed at times and our health and sense of well-being can suffer.   Too much stress can trigger a fight or flight reaction in the body and our minds experience fear and anxiety.   We can relieve this reaction and calm our body and mind naturally with a simple breathing technique.

When we are stressed and anxious our breathing gets shallow and rapid, and we may experience racing thoughts which spin out of control thus further increasing feelings of anxiety and fear.  The remedy for this distressing state is to slow down your breathing.  There is a connection between the breath and your thoughts so slowing down your breathing slows down your thoughts and calms the body and mind.  Notice when you first start to feel agitated or anxious, are you holding your breath or breathing in a shallow manner?  Take a moment to stop what you’re doing and take a few deep breaths.
Sit down and bring your awareness to the present and breathe.  Take in a long deep breath, bring it down into your belly, do it with me now.  Inhale to the count of four, hold for a second then release, release the tension and fearful thoughts, letting them go.  Take in another deep breath, hold for a second then release and let go.  Do this a couple more times or as long as you need until you feel more relaxed and at ease.   You will notice your worries have melted away and in this moment all is well and you are at peace.
If one practices a structured deep breathing meditation everyday then it will become second nature to do this at the first signs of stress and your overall stress and anxiety levels will decrease significantly and you will feel better in body, mind, and spirit.
Priya Thiele is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in adult individual therapy with a holistic perspective which honors the connection of body, mind, and spirit. She holds a Masters of Arts degree in Integral Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco. Learn more about her on her website www.priyathiele.com. 

Read Full Post »

It affects more than 2 million Americans. It can lead to arguments, unemployment, and an overall loss of quality of life. It can swallow its victims and mold them into whatever it wants before spitting them back out to live in this chaotic world…

I’m talking about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, those with OCD may be “plagued by persistent, unwelcome thoughts or images, or by the urgent need to engage in certain rituals. They may be obsessed with germs or dirt, and wash their hands over and over. They may be filled with doubt and feel the need to check things repeatedly.” Unknown to many is the fact that OCD is classified as an anxiety disorder. Not only can this mean that anxiety results when compulsions, also called rituals, are not performed, but the obsessions that lead to the compulsions are most often related to feelings of anxiety. That anxiety can stem from an array of life events or from low self-esteem, self-doubt, etc.

In my lifetime I have heard numerous individuals with good intentions jokingly refer to themselves as “OCD” because they like certain things a certain way. Some men may assume their wives suffer from the disorder because the wives like to keep a clean household. However, most women like to keep a clean household and this could be because the house is a representation of the family to others when company arrives. Not all women have OCD and the disorder affects men as well. Liking things a certain way is OK, but when there is a feeling – an urge – to complete a task because not doing so will create intense anxiety that cannot be ignored without intervention, then we as professionals must look at actual OCD. We also look at the time an individual spends engaging in the rituals on a daily basis. Is it consuming one hour, two hours, 24 hours in a single day?

Although contamination is thought of by most when discussing OCD, this is not always the obsession or compulsion. For some, counting to a particular number, having everything on one side or the other, stepping a certain way through a door or over cracks in the sidewalk are common compulsions. Additional compulsions may include ordering items with all labels facing forward, straightening things to obtain a “balance,” matching underclothes with outerclothes (or being unable to wear certain colors together). There are many ways obsessions (the thoughts) can play out in compulsions (the actions). What is relevant is that the thoughts become overwhelming and life can seem uncontrollable if the actions are not performed. There is a nagging from the inside when trying to ignore a compulsion to, “Go back and do it,” because otherwise it will consume your thinking.

The positive side is that treatment exists for OCD. Sadly, however, many cases go undiagnosed and the thinking and behaviors are thought to be quirks of the individual’s personality. One such treatment utilized for OCD is known as Exposure Response Prevention and involves exposing the person with OCD to the stimuli which cause the anxiety. Once exposed, the individual is then encouraged to not engage in the behavior that would normally follow. In time, the symptoms may reduce to where the individual can be confronted with the anxiety-producing stimuli and not respond with compulsions. This further reduces the level of anxiety associated with the stimuli to a point where the anxiety no longer occurs to begin with. ERP takes time and should be used under the care of a professional trained in utilizing the approach. This is evidenced-based treatment that makes sense because the more urges are given into, the more frequently those urges occur and when we can’t pacify the urge, a negative emotional response such as anxiety, irritability, etc. can result. The International OCD Foundation reports that 7 out of 10 individuals benefit from cogntive behavioral therapies (such as ERP) or from the use of medication.

Other options for those who suffer from OCD may include talk therapy, group therapy/support groups, and medication. Although, these are certainly not the only ways for individuals to overcome the disorder. It may be crucial for an individual to discuss past traumas that may have led to the OCD and this, as many of us know, can further create anxiety until we know it’s OK to talk about and that we are safe from those traumas today.

A life free from obsessions and compulsions can happen with time, work, and support. For more information, visit the National Institute of Mental Health, the OCDCenter.org, or the International OCD Foundation or speak with your healthcare professional today.

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: