Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘dialectical behavior therapy’

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.” ~Unknown~

In my work with clients I talk a lot about acceptance, the importance of realizing where they are today and what changes they need to make to improve their current circumstances to get them where they want to be tomorrow. All too often I see individuals who are stuck in the past, recapping and reliving what has already happened with little hope that the future can or will  be different. I’m one who used to be stuck in a similar way.

As the quote above suggests,we can accept our lives or we can change. In past posts I’ve stated that acceptance doesn’t mean we must like what has happened, what we’ve done, who we are. Rather, acceptance is simply saying, “This is what was. This is what is.” It’s acknowledging the fact of the matter. Before we can do anything to improve ourselves and our lives, we must accept things as they are and make a decision about what needs to change. It’s necessary for moving forward when we’re in a place of “stuckness.”

Many times individuals fear the change that needs to take place because staying comfortable is what most of us prefer. Stepping outside the box to explore things with no gaurantee that those things will work can be scary. However, in my personal experience, I’ve found that the thoughts surrounding stepping outside the box made it seem much more intense than it actually was when I chose to give it a go. No, I’m not saying it was easy. I’m saying that it was easier than what my mind made it out to be and for that I’m grateful.

The only way to improve situations, relationships, illnesses, etc. when they are causing distress in our lives is to first accept that the distress is there and what’s causing it (often times distress can be a result of our thinking) so we know what we need to work to change. Once we do this, action plans can be developed and we can find ourselves moving forward with momentum we didn’t know we, or life, had. It’s a great and beautiful feeling to be able to say, “I did this! I accepted my life and worked hard to improve areas that weren’t working for me. Now, my days are more satisfying and my life feels more fulfilling.” I know because I can say this to myself today.

Change isn’t that horrible thing others make it out to be. It can be amazing. We’re given free will in life and that free will allows us to be and do whatever we choose. It gives us freedom to accept and freedom to change, which can lead us to live a life never imagined. It comes down to what we want to do in this moment. Are you willing to give yourself a chance at a new beginning?

I leave you with the challenge of accepting at least once thing in your day. I’ll go easy on you and not challenge you to accept one thing you don’t like, but that would indeed be better practice. Either way, let me know how you did and the result of living with more acceptance of what is.

Until next time…

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: