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Posts Tagged ‘Ginny Owens’

when I took my first step. And I’m clinging to the promise, He’s not through with me yet.”

Christian artist Ginny Owens sings the above lyrics in her song “If You Want Me To,” and it is a song that reminds me of just how far I have come in my personal journey.

I was reflecting on some things this evening – including my own successes over the past year – and I said to myself “I never want to go back to where I was before. I was miserable and now I have hope.” I wonder how many of us are able to see when we have made strides and how many of us long to go back to the person we used to be even when we know we weren’t happy then.

In my entire life, I have never been more grateful than I am as an almost 29 year old. I could rehash my life for you, but I’ll save that for my memoir. I will say, however, that what I experienced in the past wasn’t always pleasant and was at times nothing less than chaotic. I was unhealthy, unhappy and unwilling. I was waiting for someone to come in and rescue me or for someone to change me because I believed I couldn’t change myself.

The good thing is that I did change myself. I am changing myself. I wake up every morning and face challenges, as we all do, but I’m more capable now of managing those challenges and working through my concerns or problems utilizing the skills I’ve learned over time. I never, ever, ever thought my life would change. I had resorted myself to the fact that I would be the way I was forever, which included being a single woman who would eventually end up with a dozen cats living in a small house¬†that no one ever visited. I thought I was destined to be only what I was becoming by following an unhealthy lifestyle.

Then it hit me that I had a choice to make. If I wanted to end up alone and miserable with no goals achieved, I could. Or, I could take my dreams and make them a reality. I chose the latter and although it’s been tough, I do not look back. I do not regret.

I’m not who I was when I took my first step.

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I wrote this letter to be mailed to an overseas soldier this holiday season. I encourage others to do the same as these men and women will spend this joyous time of year in the absence of their loved ones.

Dearest Man or Woman:

Greetings from southern Ohio. I hope this letter finds you well and that you are staying strong this holiday season. We here in the U.S. give many, many thanks for your service; not just today, but every day.

To tell you a little bit about me, I’m 28¬†years old and have been a reporter for The Times-Gazette newspaper in Highland County for more than three years. I’ve written several feature articles on military men and women who are either expecting to return home or who have been injured and forced to return.

I am a Christian who listens to K-Love Christian radio and lately they have been doing “Wow, God…” Wednesdays. This week, albeit on Thursday, I shared my “Wow, God” story with them. I thought I would also share this with you and as you read, know that you are never alone and never out of God’s hands.

Ok, here it goes:

“My life has been filled with ups and downs and my “Wow, God” moments may not seem as tremendous as those of others. Still, God has shown me He is there.

One such moment came last Thursday on my way to work. I lose cell reception near my house and on my drive home last night, I began to text my former mentor because we had decided to end our mentorship a few of weeks ago for various reasons. She was on my heart and I had prayed for her yesterday morning. I wanted to text her to let her know that even though we aren’t speaking, I still think of her. Well, I didn’t send the text and soon after, I lost reception.

On my way to work this morning, I had a text that had been sent at
some point while I had no service. It was from my mentor and it said
“You’ve been on my heart.” Weird. I told her I was going to text her the same thing around the same time.

All of a sudden I started singing Ginny Owens’ “If you want me to”
aloud in my car. I was thinking about how far I have come in my
journey toward freedom from a lifelong struggle, but how I am still not
“there” yet. I was thinking of all of my empty promises to myself, God and those around me and how I have not taken care of this body God created. I wanted to stop the games and get on with living life.

So, I was singing:

‘Cause I’m not who I was, when I took my first step. And I’m clinging
to the promise, you’re not through with me yet. So if all of these
trials bring me closer to you, then I will walk through the fire if
You want me to.’

I felt the presence of God putting these words in my head and in my
heart, turned on my iPod and said “God, let me hear this song.” Out of
the 474 songs in my play list, “If You Want Me To” played.

In that moment, I knew that God was with me, would continue to carry
me through the trials and would show me how to do that which I am
called to do. I know that He provides the way, the truth, the life and
even though I am stubborn, not always obedient, have much spiritual
work to do, there is one thing that’s certain…Wow, God is with me.”

I have included the full lyrics for you to read and know that when I hear this song, I will be thinking of you.

I don’t know who you are, where you are from or what your life has been like, but still, I will be praying for you. I hope that as you get up each morning and go to bed each night, you will be reminded of those of us for whom you are fighting, those you love and those who love you. Your actions don’t go unnoticed no matter what your role may be.

With Love and Thanksgiving,

Meredith Creek

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